flying under the gaydar

Enjoy the stupid!

2008-10-25T09:33:00.000-06:00

*ahem*

So I had my students watch the Presidential debates and they had to write summaries and then follow up with their opinion. Some of the things they said were so entertaining. Clearly they were not watching the same debates I was. And clearly some of them are just stupid. Nonetheless I have decided that excerpts from their papers are too choice not to share so please enjoy the stupid!

It seemed like all McCain said the whole time was, “Thank you, thank you for that question. That was a good question. You are wonderful. America is great. I can do it. I have done things before and I can do this. I can do it. I will do it. Obama sucks. You guys are amazing.”
It was obvious that she totally owned Biden. It was a contest between a sharp “maverick” and a delusional madman.

I wasn’t really looking forward to watching the debates considering it overtook grey’s anatomy but I got over it.

I always considered Palin smart and witty, but after that comment, knowing that she must have been prepped on that part of Bidens life, I felt like she was being a b word that I shouldn’t write in this paper.

Biden disagrees that heterosexual marriages should be allowed.

It seemed like Palin was too busy slinging mud and talking about how she did things back in Alaska that she never really go the answer the questions…. Really how many Americans do you know that have been to Alaska?

In this debate we learned that Obama is a cheater because he would not stick to the time limits. Although McCain did not either, he at least attempted and did not just plain ignore them…. At the end of the debate, I felt like McCain ended up looking like the bigger man, and Obama ended up looking like a liar and a cheater.

Obama gave the appearance of a sleazy car salesman, someone who wanted to sell you something quick and didn’t want you to look to hard at the fine print or in this case his actual views of the topics. He uses a lot of rock bands and movie stars as a reference as to what a great guy he is, hoping to catch the eye of the young and uniformed voter as the “cool” choice. McCain has actual members of government and friends and family to back him up. McCain’s personal appearance was not one of a flashy, shiny toothed camera loving politician, but more of a humble guy who has experience and has been through a lot, and ACTUALLY CARES.

When I watched this it was very hard for me to follow along with what they were saying, probably because I didn’t care much for what they were saying. I am sure when I am older I will care but for now I have no idea what they are talking about. Overall I think John McCain won the debate because he was bringing out the truth about Barrack Obama. Obama has socialist views on health care and on the economy. If history has taught us anything, it is that Socialism does not work, for example look at the USSR and all the Eastern European countries during 1991. During this very crucial time in our nation’s history, we need a man with experience who can run our country into the right direction. Obama has no experience in Washington, nor has he ever worked with everyone in Congress. Obama is by far the most far left liberal and inexperienced candidate in our country’s history.
I do not enjoy watching these presidential debates at all. I find them extremely boring and hard to understand. After watching last wednesdays presidential debate I thought that McCain won overall because he taught me things about Barrack Obama that I never knew. I never knew that Obama was friends with communist people and that he has socialist views on certain things. Frankly I don’t like what he is all about and I don’t want a weirdo running our country, so if I were allowed to vote I would vote for McCain. I did like Barrack during the start of the campaign but now I have realized what he is all about. I don’t trust someone that is good friends with communists and socialists and they should be nowhere near having the job of protecting millions for American lives. Hopefully us, the American people make the right choice on who is to be our future president, whoever that is.

I think McCain needs to calm down he acted like a baby all through the presidential debates.
I really love McCain and think that he should win. He said a lot of comments that made Obama feel stupid…. All I know is that if I were able to vote, I would vote for McCain. I think he would be a better President. he would help America out a lot more than Obama would. So please vote for McCain Ms. Bastian.

I think Obama is a straight up lunatic who would do nothing but run the country down the toilet.
Once thing i noticed is how McCain would get very worked up over a subject and Obama would just kind of smile and act like McCain was an idiot.

S.

politics ruin my life...sort of

2008-09-04T17:14:00.003-06:00

Being a government teacher at ye old semi-local high school during an election year trying to keep my personal political views as private as possible is not an easy task. I've kept up on both conventions and watched the "important" speeches each night and find myself at some points barely restraining objects flying from my hands toward the TV. At one point Drex offered me some Chinese candy to throw at the screen during certain speech. Some politicians remain on mute because they make me physically ill while I find myself drawn to the most unlikely of speeches.

It's so hard to remain politically neutral when I just want to yell, "CANDIDATE X IS CLEARLY THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR THE NATION!!!! ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN CAN SEE THAT!!!" I know that everyone has their agency and all that jazz, but sometimes, politics ruins my life. And I can't stand when my students blatantly disrespect either candidate. They both deserve some respect and I can't seem to beat that into their heads. Oh well...November isn't actually all that far away.

I also hate pot-shot politics from either side. Can't we just argue policies? Boo...hissssss

Now I'll leave it to Drex to get back to spirituality...

S.

e. holland: byu training

2008-07-01T22:17:00.000-06:00

One thing that we thought we should bring up with Elder Holland was the lack of training for ecclesiastical leaders on a local level, especially at BYU. One of the big issues that I've seen, especially with new people entering the Mohosphere/social circles, is that reactions and receptions from bishops are varied, and it really seems like luck of the draw. I was a high school senior when I first told my bishop, and he was very open and understood the difference between temptation and sin. He did some research and got back to me with a "Well, there's not really any Church literature provided for people who haven't sinned, so just keep on doing what you've been doing." I told my stake presidency member during my pre-mission interview, and his only advice was not to tell any of my companions. I told my bishop when Salad and I got engaged, and while he was (and is) one of my favorite bishops ever, he really didn't get it, and told me as I focused on Salad, it would go away (haha). And when I talked with Salad's bishop when we got engaged, he pulled out the Evergreen monthly bulletin thing, and had all manner of resources that he knew of. It's really a mixed bag. Many people have had much worse experiences than I have.

While a widespread training protocol for bishops and stake presidencies everywhere would be difficult to compile, let alone implement, more training for BYU bishops and stake presidencies would be much more doable. With the concentration of young single adults, the number of people impacted would also be higher. Elder Holland agreed, and said that it might be very beneficial to do some additional training for the leaders. He pointed out the difficulty of reaching individual bishops in more remote locales, and pointed out that not all bishops will encounted the issue, but that the concentration of people at BYU would make it a good place for training, and could possibly lead to ways that more generalized training could be done. No promises were made, but it seems like this was a good idea that might bear fruit.

an afternoon with elder holland

2008-06-27T16:31:00.000-06:00

So I was interested in what sorts of questions you all would ask because I wanted to get a feel for where other people view things as being. I know where I am in life and where I stand, but a slightly more generalized overview would be advantageous going in. Last Wednesday Salad and I drove up to Salt Lake to meet with Elder Holland. We had spoken with him for about 15 minutes on the phone before, but he wanted to meet us in person and have time to actually sit down and talk.

We got there about 15 minutes early, and waited about 20 minutes before we were shown in. Elder Holland apologized profusely for running late. Hah, 5 minutes. My family runs about 45 minutes late. :P We were nervous before going in, but as soon as we saw him and shook his hands, all nervousness vanished. He shook my hand, then took Salad by the cheeks and exclaimed "Oh, how wonderfully rosy your cheeks are!"

We talked for about half an hour, then he had to take an international conference call - but he wanted more than just the 25 minutes or so with us, so he asked us to stick around until he was done, and we could continue our conversation. All told, we spent about 45 minutes in his office speaking with him.

I don't want to go into the entire meeting all in one post - having this up here will help me remember that I have to post. :P So I'll continue on later with some of the things we talked about. One question in particular that I raised was posed by a friend. He wanted to know whether supporting gay marriage issues would be grounds for taking away one's temple recommend. Elder Holland was quite clear on this point - that is not grounds for losing a recommend, nor, he hopes, will it ever be. Political opinions of such a nature have no bearing on temple worthiness. If ever it were to be such an issue, a statement would have to be issued directly from the First Presidency, and it would likely become one of the temple recommend questions. He cited the ministry of President Heber J. Grant. He was president of the church when prohibition was first instated, through the entire time it was in effect, and when Utah was the state that cast the deciding vote, ending prohibition in the United States. He was horribly distraught over it, especially after urging the members to work towards it, but it never became a point of temple worthiness.

--drex

quick questions, due wednesday morning

2008-06-16T16:03:00.004-06:00

Are there any specific SSA-related questions that you have for the Church that have not been satisfactorily answered?

What aspects of Church teachings or practice drive you away from attendance/feeling included/whatever?

If you were in charge, what would you do to increase understanding or help the situation?

Whoopsie...!

2008-06-11T19:48:00.002-06:00

I guess we should give up our exhibitionist ways...

Awesome article

Anyone who wants to help us pay for indulgences should make checks payable to salad and drex :D

-S.

And now for the Juniors

2008-05-22T15:01:00.003-06:00

So my Juniors were assigned the task of assembling a portfolio on WWII. While their grammatical errors were not as profuse as my seniors' (figure that one out) they did have some pretty humorous things to say, so I thought I would share:

“Our nation is like a heavy weight boxer. If we get punched in the mouth, you better expect to get knocked out.”

“Churchill and Roosevelt combined and destroyed all who stood in their way. Sort of like Batman and Robin, but without the cool suits that made it look like you had a six-pack.”

“We must rationalize our food consumption in order to feed you brave soldiers in the war.”

“Dwight worked for two years, and then went to apply to a Navel Academy.”

“…during this time is when he start build some of his Anti-Jew sediments.”

“I can’t believe that you have only been gone for a month and a half it seems like so much longer. I thought this may make your day happier to know that we are expecting our third child in eight months.”

Only one week left and then on to the blessed peace of summer vacation--I can hardly wait. I'm pretty sure I'm more excited than my students are, but they would beg to differ. Little do they know that it's much harder to be a teacher than it ever was to be a student.

-S.

My Current Struggle

2008-05-06T19:05:00.001-06:00

Bet I caught your attention with that line, eh? Well I happen to teach government to high school seniors at a semi-local high school. Said high school is supposed to produce the "cream of the crop" if you will, and these students are the ones who are going to lead us to a better tomorrow. If that's the case then I'm genuinely scared for that tomorrow and I highly recommend that you all go out to your local hardware store and buy the necessary supplies to build a bunker to settle in for the long-haul. Either I was blessed with some real stupids or these kids are just trying their best to make my eyes bleed and make my life difficult.

We recently finished a section on the Civil Rights that included some landmark Supreme Court cases so I assigned a simple 2-page paper that was to encompass the entirety of the Civil Rights Movement--no big deal right? You'd think I had asked them to single-handedly save the world in 20 minutes. Over the course of a week I graded 120 CRAP papers and I thought I would regale you with some of the more *choice* sentences. I promise these are not taken out of context to make them sound worse. They are taken directly as I found them in the papers--grammar and spelling intact. Enjoy!

“When he was arrested and brought to court with Judge John Ferguson, he was made segregated. Even when he brought it to the Supreme Court they too ruled him segregated because he was 1/8 black.”

“This football team changed more than just the players lives it changed the countries lives in ways they probably never thought they would.”

“…they won that season all of their games.”

“Homer Plessy helped ignite a flame already burning through the African American community over separate but equal.”

“The reason that the schools were put together started with Plessy vs. Ferguson when they weren’t given any rights and then with Brown vs. the Board of Education where they were considered “separate but equal” but had to go to different schools.”

“Restaurants, theaters, restrooms, and public schools.”

“It was there that the question of ‘does Louisiana law violate the equal protection clause of the 14 amendment?’.”
“Shooting off of the Plessy case, comes the Montgomery bus boycott in 1955.”

“…in his home town of Louisiana…”

“During the time, hardly any blacks and whites communed with each other, because they didn’t want to.”

“The first scene of the school you see people protesting against the incorporation of the blacks, when the white football player introduced his white girl friend to the black teammate and she would not shake his hand, and arguments and disaster everywhere.”

“Although on paper the ruling made it illegal, at heart people were still segregated.”

“The origin of Civil Rights movement.”

“Not only did this Civil Rights Act prohibit segregation towards blacks, but many other things as well, such as no job discriminations towards anyone, no matter how old they may be, women’s rights, equal opportunity, responsibility, and/or pay.”

“Not only had their been segregation, but colors were denied their rights as well.”

“School, hospitals, bathrooms, drinking fountains, and even white people would never touch a Bible that a black man had touched.”

“Some children were asked between two dolls, one white and one black, which was better, smarter, or maybe even prettier. These children mostly answered with the white dolls. Other children had to walk at least 5 miles to get to the bus station or even the school.”

“The Plessy v. Ferguson case was a man Homer Plessy who was 7/8 black and 1/8 white.”

“The civil rights are the people that gave the blacks their freedom to be just like the whites.”

“With the ruling of the Plessy vs. Ferguson separate is equal school boards became separate.”

“One week after that tragedy the president signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968, and in 1991 Bush signs another Civil Rights Act strengthening the laws against discrimination.”

“The separate but equal ideas.”

“Integration in schools were a major thing during this.”

“The Brown vs. BOE Topeka, Ks, which show us the unfairness of times, back then.”

-S.

Only in Utah...

2008-03-12T14:02:00.002-06:00

...will you hear a medely of Primary songs being played on a piano in the commons of a public high school.

I was walking back from the office when I noticed some distinctly familiar music coming from the commons. When I identified it I had to chuckle to myself at the culture that I'm stuck in. NEVER would I have dared play a church song at school for fear of being made fun of or some other juvenile reaction from my peers.

Sorry we've been gone forever...school is killing both of us, but the good news is that I'm finally getting caught up. I won't ever be ahead, that's for sure, but I'm nowhere near as far behind as I used to be.

S.

Gay Marriage Debates

2007-11-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

I will attempt a real post, but it will probably be short. Drex is much more eloquent and has much more valid things to say. However…I do have some interesting things to share.

I teach government at a Jordan District High School and in an effort to try and “spice up” my class (because according to a certain student I get a D- in my efforts to do so) I decided to present the topic of political parties through the medium of political debates. I got the presidential platforms from the 2004 elections from a colleague and prepared my lesson. What, you might ask, does this have to do the mohosphere? Well, one of the platforms is Gay Marriage. I honestly thought the debate on Friday was going to come to blows. I had the students take a political spectrum test to put them in polarized (Democrat and Republican) political parties. Many of them ended up being “moderate” so I let them choose which side to be on. With this debate, it was interesting to see how many of the students were actually for Gay Marriage. One of the girls who was presenting brought up the studies that are being done regarding the idea that homosexuality is genetic and that brought many of the “republicans” to their feet. Another of the students said, “gay people can’t get married. They just can’t reproduce.” It was all I could do to sit there and not list off all the MOMs I know off the top of my head and the Will and Grace episode where Will and Grace are trying to decide whether or not to have a baby together, and they’re probably too young to know that Ross’s first wife on Friends was a lesbian and gave birth. As it was I brought up, “Well, there is the possibility of sperm donation for gay men and in-vitro fertilization or surrogate pregnancy for lesbian women.” At that point, one of my students piped up with, “Yeah! There’s a sperm bank by the library!” Awkward moment. The students were amazingly fired up and the last idea debated was: would it be better for children to be adopted by a gay partnership and raised that way, or for children to be born to a “straight” couple and later find out that one of their parents is gay? Knowing what I know about some of the people in the mohosphere it was incredibly hard not to get really involved in this topic. I tried to gently get them thinking, but I doubt I had much impact. Keep in mind, I have 4 of these classes, and only 1 so far has debated the issue.

Another story also comes from school (as I spend more time there than I do at home with Drex, unfortunately). During lunch one day after Dumbledore came out of the closet, some of the teachers were discussing the student reactions and I went into “observe mode” as I usually do when the homosexuality topic comes up in public settings outside the mohosphere. And then another (male) teacher walked in wearing an extremely well put together outfit—almost too well put together. My mentor (a self-proclaimed atheist and all around pretty great guy) turned to me with a raised eye brow and I just shook my head. And then he whispered, “So, uh…do you think he wife dressed him?” And I answered, “I’m not going to tell you what I thought [which was “PEGGED!”] because you’re not going to think I’m very nice.” He pressed harder because he’s not one to give up and I relented with, “It wouldn’t surprise me if he and Dumbledore had something in common, if you catch my drift.” He nodded his agreement and then said something to the effect of, “You always get really quite when ‘gay’ stuff is brought up.” At that point the bell rang and I told him I had a secret to tell him later. He hounded me after school, popping his head in my room while I had students taking tests saying, “I want to know your secret!” It was pretty entertaining. When my students left I went into his room and spilled my guts. The first thing he asked was, “How personal can I get with my questions?!” (He’s the psychology/philosophy teacher). I laughed and told him he could ask what he wanted and I would reserve the right not to answer. He hasn’t asked much lately because he’s been too busy hounding one of the other teachers about her dipping habit, but I’m sure it will come up soon.

Drex says I should save my other stories for later. I will however, try to remember to update on how the rest of the Gay Marriage debates go.

-S

weighing in

2007-11-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been so silent for so long. I actually feel pretty guilty about it. Things have been busy, and sometimes hectic in recent weeks. For the most part things have been good, though. School has been tolerable, and the highlight of my academic day is choir. We had a wonderful series of concerts last weekend, and we're performing in the Tabernacle in Salt Lake on Saturday, which should be really fun. I've sung in the Conference Center, but I've never had opportunity to perform in the Tabernacle. I'm really looking forward to it.

Salad and I are still doing great together, although for some reason more and more people are trying to pressure us into having kids. :P I'm of the opinion that not many people should have kids right after being married - not because it's wrong, or because they should be older, or because they should have more money, or anything like that. Rather, I believe that a couple should continue to build the foundation of their relationship before moving into the building up of the family. Especially in the case of many BYU marriages, where the couple doesn't know each other for horribly long, the months following marriage are imperative to build a strong marital relationship that can stand the tests and trials that life sends - like kids. Plus there's the fact that we really don't want to have to raise kids in Utah, but that's a whole 'nother (I swear that should be a word) issue.

With regards to the whole 'war' raging through the Mohosphere right now, I thought I'd weigh in as well. There's been back-and-forth about open-mindedness and cyber-christian zeal, the bigotry of the 'faithful' and the whoreishness of the 'weak' and everything in between. I can only speak for myself on this.

I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sometimes aspects of the Church bug me, but the gospel remains clear to me. Sometimes local leaders, instructors, home teachers and the like grate on me, but the gospel is still true. Sometimes I don't want to go to church at all, but the gospel remains a steady rock and a firm foundation. Part of the gospel, as I understand it, is that marriage between a man and a woman is sacred and ordained of God. Marriage between two men or two women, as I understand it, does not have place in the eternal plan of happiness. There is nothing saying that no happiness lies in pursuing such relationships - in fact, there's nothing saying that you'll be happier in life marrying the opposite sex than the same. But I believe the promise is there, whether outrightly outlined or not, that the eternal happiness connected to a heterosexual marriage and relationship infinitely outweigh the eternal happiness of a same-sex union. I don't entirely understand why that is, but I still feel like it's true.

Another thing is that when people that I care about make choices that I believe will ultimately end in unhappiness or hurt, it worries me. Sometimes it even hurts. Sometimes friends will make what I consider to be stupid choices. Sometimes when that happens I don't still my tongue, and I end up telling them that I think they're making stupid choices. That's a stupid choice on my part, most of the time. Does that mean that I think my friends are stupid? Of course not. Sometimes I disapprove of the things my friends do. I still care about them, and they're entitled to their choices, and I typically won't hold their choices against them, but sometimes I want to make my opinion known, in the hopes that I can save them from some unhappiness or pain.

And sometimes the difference of opinion is simply due to a difference in perspective, and neither of us will ever see things from the other's point of view, and it's best to agree to disagree. I'm okay with that, as long as my opinions are respected. I try to respect the opinions of others depending on their life perspectives, and there are few things more hurtful to me than when someone I respect refuses to respect me back. This hasn't happened to me in a while because I've relegated my opinions to comments in others' blogs, but I see it happening to those I love, and it hurts.

There might end up being some striation in the Mohosphere. It might come down to a complete split and a separation of communities, but I hope it doesn't. I just hope that my friends will remain my friends, and that we can still maintain some level of mutual respect, because some of the people here are just too good to let go of, even if their choices don't line up in my personal outlook on life. I don't like giving up my friends.

To all the MoHoHos out there - grow up! And I don't mean that in a mean or bad way, I mean that you have to pull out of your closet-delayed gay adolescence. Not so you can make choices that line up with what I believe, but so that you can make choices that aren't clouded by newness, infatuation, crushes, or the like. Your choices are yours to make, but it's hard to make them when focus is lost by the phase that you're going through.

I had a MoHoHo phase of my own, but it was neither very long or very hard to deal with, likely due to my early acceptance of myself and the company I kept. Especially since I had Salad by my side throughout, helping to keep my focus on other things. It's hard to pull out of it, and sometimes you don't want to because the novelty is so fun. Post-MoHoHo is just as fun, though, without as strong a temptation. It's worth coming out of.

Anyway, I've been all over the place. I guess that's what happens when I disappear for so long. Good talking again. :P

~drex

dumbledore is gay

2007-10-20T11:24:00.000-06:00

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/10/20/harry.potter.ap/index.html

That is all.

Avoiding Lesson Planning

2007-10-11T18:00:00.000-06:00

Most of you have probably stopped checking our blog at this point, which is totally understandable, but I promise we’re not dead.

I’m swamped at school—between the kids who lack motivation and any life-skills and parents who only excel at enabling their children and making my life a living hell (October has not been my month and it’s not even half over), not to mention the lesson planning, grading, parent-teacher conferences, meetings, seminars etc, etc it’s good enough that I’m still breathing. Most of my nights after school are spent lesson planning or trying to emotionally recover from whatever happened at school, and the weekends are spent grading what I didn’t get to during the week. They tell me that it gets better after the first year, but at this point I’m disinclined to believe them.

Drex is staying busy with school and trying to keep me focused on the good parts of life—like him, the mohos and other such things.

We enjoyed seeing many of you over Conference weekend and at the Matis’ this month, and we hope to see more of you, if only things will calm down.

I know Drex has some more substantial posts on the backburner, he just needs to find some time to get to them. In the mean time, I’m going to steal Gimple’s idea and make a list of things I love because a: it will be therapeutic for me and b: it’s getting me out of lesson planning :D

Drex (I know, gag all you want)
The mohos
Sleeping with the window open when it’s cold outside
Listening to the rain
Reading a good book
The smell of new clothes (but not the shopping for new clothes—that part is icky)
Good food
Massages
A good hug
Homemade caramels
Moms
Turning my alarm off on Friday night
Going to dinner with friends
Laughing so hard it hurts
Pay day
Yellow roses with pink tips
Playing softball in the rain
Helping people
Learning
A clean kitchen

Brief update

2007-09-07T14:22:00.000-06:00

Really, I should be grading papers, as that’s what a prep period is for, but it’s Friday, and I’m seriously distracted…and my red pen died and I don’t feel like walking to the office to get another one.

We haven’t posted in forever, but I promise we have really good reasons! Remember how I posted about getting a teaching job? Well, it started the Monday after we got married and I’ve been wicked busy every since. All I do is lesson plan and grade papers and I go to bed at 9 every night. I lead a boring, but busy, life. My students are giving me a run for my money, but aren’t as terrifying as I thought they would be. I have this one really cute junior who is a moho in the making. I seriously want to ask him if he has a blog just so I can read it, but I’m pretty sure that would be crossing some professional boundary. My juniors are adorable and my seniors are adorably puntable (ie. I want to punt them out the window because they won’t stop whining about the fact that they have to grow up and take notes and actually be accountable for life). I was walking through the hall the other day and one of the students said, “milk is my favorite drink…after beer!” I had to run into another teacher’s classroom to keep from busting out laughing in the hallway. Oh the rising generation—kinda scary if you ask me. I’ve confiscated 15 cell phones (4 in one period just today) and 8 ipods and we’re only 2 weeks in to school. Hopefully after January (when the semester ends and I’ll only be planning for one class instead of 2) I’ll be able to have fun again…

Married life is treating us pretty well. I like the fact that we don’t have to abide by the *cough* wretched *cough* I mean “divinely inspired” BYU honor code anymore and no one has to go home at midnight. We’re still lacking a few furnishings in our apartment, but hopefully those will be coming within the month barring any unforeseen expenses. Once we get some couches we hope to have some more gatherings at our house.

Well, I know it’s lame, but that’s about all I have for an update at the moment. At least it’s something right?

Mr. and Mrs. Drex

2007-08-09T09:46:00.001-06:00

We're married! More to come when life slows down...as if that will ever happen ;)

S.

Clash of the Titans...but not really

2007-08-05T20:50:00.000-06:00

Time for a mini-update just so you know that we’re still alive and haven’t been buried under a barrage of wedding plans…although, it’s come close ;)

We flew out to DC on Thursday and have gone nonstop since. We’ve been helping Drex’s parents get the house ready for the wedding along with eating tons of great food. The combination of heat and humidity is killer, but I’m so glad to be out of Utah and I’m relishing the diversity of the East. I’d almost forgotten that my hair curls in the humidity and it’s been uber fun trying to hid all the baby curls that keep popping out around my ears and at the back of my neck—too bad all of my hair isn’t curly :P

Best thing ever (aside from the whole getting married thing) happened on Friday though. I was offered a full-time teaching position up in Jordan School District. I’ll be teaching government classes and one section of US history, which is a major blessing. I was starting to despair that I wouldn’t be teaching this year and I’m a chronic worrier so I was starting to worry about how we were going to make ends meet and everything, and God saw fit to answer my pleas and the prayers of others (thanks!!) and soften the hearts of the administrators in my favor. When I listened to the voicemail offering me the job I was shaking so badly I could barely hold the phone. Drex’s mom wanted me to call them right back but I could hardly speak. Poor Drex had no idea what was going on when I walked in the room because all I could do was show him my shaking hands…it took me a second to be able to find my voice to tell him that I had been offered a teaching position. I’m very excited.

My family flew into town this weekend and they met Drex’s family. It’s been an interesting experience, but I think it’s been positive overall. I think my family is still a little agog over how upfront and straightforward Drex’s mom is, but I think they’ll get used to it over time. My mom and my sister about died when we went shopping with Drex and his mom and she made some absolutely shameless comment to the store clerk. It was totally awesome.

I’m sure we’ll have more updates for you after the wedding, or Drex might even have something to say before then. We can’t wait to see many of you at the reception!

Oh, and just so that Samantha doesn’t feel like she’s the only irreverent one in church…today in Relief Society we were talking about how the Brother of Jared was prepared spiritually to see God and the faith that that took etc. My sister, who is 19 and was recently released as the RS President in her Single’s Ward, turned to me and said, “How do you prepare for God to give you the finger?” I about died. It’s a good thing RS was last or I’m pretty sure I would have gotten absolutely nothing out of the rest of church.

2007-07-28T00:59:00.000-06:00

feeling a bit broken, bruised in places and hoping to be able to heal and keep moving forward as planned...that is all

S.

spirit or irrational obsession?

2007-07-27T08:26:00.000-06:00

I had two bad days in a row, which doesn't often happen to me. They had me melancholy, retracted, confused, and frustrated enough that I have spent some small amount of time trying to figure out the root cause rather than just waiting for the feeling of gloom to pass. Typically my psychological makeup is such that things just roll off my back and I can move on with life, but when things stick I know there's something up. There's also the fact that a stupor of thought typically leaves me with similar feelings of confusion and frustration, so there's the possibility that there's something the Spirit wants me to do differently.

Salad has talked to me before about the bone-deep desire she has to teach, and how frustrating it is that she can't find a teaching job. Some measure of that desire blindsided me on Wednesday, except that my passion and my desire lie in singing. I have been taking voice lessons for quite a while, I've been in choirs since high school, and it's typically been enough for me. All of a sudden I have this ache to do something with my singing, though. I don't know that being in choir will be enough to fill it. It's like...I want to be in a musical, or working on writing music specific to me, that I could sing and that would be mine.

Part of my frustration is that I buried my dreams of musical grandeur a while back. Music is not a logical career path, so I convinced myself that I wasn't going to pursue it as anything more than a side hobby. Part of that was reasoning that choir was okay, because it was a joint commitment between all the members of the choir, but that any solo pursuits were essentially pointless. Two days of frustration have thrown all of that out of whack in my mind. Why not do more with what I have? Would it have to be to the exclusion of more logical pursuits, or could they be done at the same time? Would it be wrong or selfish of me to want to pursue music with a bit more gusto? And if I did decide to do more with music right now, how would I go about it? I don't know the first thing about the things that would probably satiate this feeling.

And then I have to wonder if this is really Spirit spurring me on, like it mostly feels like, or if it's my own obsessive nature shining through randomly. And is there a whole lot more to my melancholy and overall feeling of BLAH, or is this the root of the problem? Am I spinning my wheels even thinking about it?

Meh.

In other news, Hairspray was fantastic, fabulous, and amazing.

I'm not dead yet!

2007-07-18T11:17:00.000-06:00

So, I’ve found that I really don’t like sitting still and doing nothing. I’m not so much a fan of my job and I know there are things that I’d rather be doing, but sitting at home with nothing to do is not one of them. Having pneumonia and bronchitis has left me with little energy and not so much lung capacity so I’ve spent the last few days on my couch doing nothing and it’s driving me insane! I’m still really bitter that my boss was irresponsible enough to come in to work when he won’t even let us stay in the office if we have the slightest sniffle. I get random spurts of energy but they fade quickly and I usually end up in a heap on my floor trying not to pass out—not so much a fun game.

As I’m sitting on my couch watching LAME tv (because my cable is broken) I’m trying to decide whether or not it’s worth it to try and go move some more stuff over to our new apartment. I’m really excited about it and I can’t wait to get settled. It’s so empty and not us and I want to get all of our stuff in there and make it ours. Unfortunately we need a truck to get some of that done so we need to wait. We moved all of my books over there last night and I insisted on vacuuming all the carpets before we put anything on them—that was one of my random spurts of energy. I kind of want to move clothes over and clean the bathrooms but I don’t know how long my energy will last. Mostly I just want to get the heck out of my house.

Wedding plans are going well. I finally succeeded in getting Drex’s mom to get her pink shirt which she wasn’t so much a fan of getting initially. We’re working on the flowers for DC and I have to get the flowers taken care of for here but other than that, we’re pretty much on top of everything. We’re looking forward to seeing many of you at our reception.

Ok, I’m going to go back to weighing the pros and cons of moving stuff on my own, but I thought I’d let you all know that I’m still sort of alive.

life update

2007-07-17T09:47:00.000-06:00

It occurs to me that we haven't really blogged about how things are going in general. Salad's sick, as mentioned before - our boss will send us home with so much as a headache, sniffle, or cough - and yet he came in for three straight days with bronchitis and pneumonia. Despite Salad confronting him on it, and despite the fact that our coworker has a newborn at home. In fact, the boss sat at that coworkers desk and used his phone while he was sick. At any rate, Salad went to the doctor and found out she has bronchitis and pneumonia. Sound familiar? When I confronted our boss about it, he said "That's too bad. Tell her sorry. I won't be here!" (he's going on vacation) Jerk.

Wedding preparations are still under way. Salad's had her showers with her family and her female friends - all that's left is the one with my family (silly aunts) and the moho shower. Gifts have begun trickling in, and one gift was a big surprise - a Wii with an extra remote. We've been enjoying the fun that's associated with having a Wii in the home, and some of our friends have been partakers as well. Once we're moved in and everything, we'll have to pick up 2 more controllers and have parties at our new place.

New place! We finalized everything and got the keys for our new apartment yesterday. We'll start moving random things over there probably today, but we have to wait on the big furniture-y stuff until we have access to a truck. We hope to be all moved in before we head out to DC for the wedding.

And lastly, Kengo's suggestions for Salad's icon/avatar/whatever were pretty good! I don't know what Salad thinks, but I've attached my top 12 choices (in no particular order, numbered for easy reference). Any opinions?

~drex

movies that make me cry

2007-07-15T16:21:00.000-06:00

I really love it when a movie can make me cry. There's something terribly cathartic about induced tears, and where I often feel devoid of emotion, it's a welcome reminder that I have heartstrings after all.

Yesterday we watched Bridge to Terabithia, and I was definitely moved. It was much more than I was counting on, a lot of it really resonated with me, and though I was expecting a large part of the ending (thanks to some rants about the literary counterpart), I was caught of guard by just how poignant and earth-moving it would be. I was quite pleased with it, and now I'll have to go out and invest in a copy of the movie myself. Once I have the funds. :P

Other movies that often bring me to tears are Pay It Forward (I always think I'm doing so well until it gets to the song) and Testaments and Joseph Smith the Prophet of the Restoration (I can't make it through Jesus saying Helam's name, nor can I make it much more than 7 minutes into Joseph Smith). I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

In other news, I've redone the layout for the blog, mostly from scratch. If there's anything horribly ugly, don't tell me unless you think it's a coding mistake that I can fix. ;) Salad wanted me to make the point that while she adores pink, she had nothing to do with the color scheme. She's also trying to figure out a better icon/avatar/whatever than a picture of a salad, but she's too sick to think of anything appropriately representative, so we're open to ideas.

~drex

eight random gay mormon facts about me

2007-07-09T13:11:00.000-06:00

Eight random gay Mormon facts about me! As per Abelard tagging me. Scroll down to see Salad's responses.

THE RULES

1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

One of the gay stereotypes I don't fit is that I like watching sports. Especially NCAA football, basketball (NCAA only during March Madness and the tournament), and tennis.
I ran cross country in middle and high school, but I stopped before my senior year because I injured myself on a 50-mile hike in the Adirondacks.
I've always loved singing, but because all the deadbeat popular people wear in choir, I never did choir until the elite auditioned choir was an option my sophomore year of high school. I got in right away and have done choir ever since. Singing is one of my passions.
I play the cello, and have since 4th grade. Everyone else wanted to play cello, too, but I got it because my mom is loud, Chinese, and overbearing, and told the orchestra teacher that she didn't want to deal with the squeaking of an aspiring violinist.
I'm a chronic reader. If I get into a book, very few things will stop me from finishing it as fast as possible. Recent conquests have been the Artemis Fowl series, the His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass) series, Peter and the Starcatchers, Twilight and New Moon, and Eragon and Eldest, among others. Obviously fantasy piques my interest, but sci fi, adventure, mystery, and basically anything good appeal as well.
My grandfather was one of the first converts to the church in Hong Kong. President Hinckley gave him the Melchizedek priesthood, actually. My mom was born in Hong Kong, so you could say I'm 1st generation American on my mom's side. I'm 6th generation American (and Mormon) on my dad's side.
The first person I ever went to a dance with (age 13) ended up being a lesbian by our junior year. The first person I ever came out to (I was 16) ended up bisexual. I'm waiting for the bolt of lightning from Salad. ;)
I collect and obsessively categorize and store music. I have 55,668 MP3s archived on CDs and DVDs, and at least another 20,000 sitting on my computer waiting to be categorized. Most of the music comes from soundtracks from movies or video games, but I have an eclectic mix of everything.

That's it. TAG: Samantha, Calvin, Stephen, Stephalumpagus, Kengo Biddles, Mulan, playasinmar, AttemptingThePath.

Random Salad Facts

2007-07-09T12:57:00.001-06:00

I’m one of the most accident-prone people you’ll ever meet in your life. I’ve injured most parts of my body in pretty random ways.
I am a die hard OSU fan even though both of their major sports teams failed me this year. Don’t mention Michigan in my presence if you want to continue living. Oh, and if you support the Yankees, we can’t be friends (the Yankees are the only time I’m allowed to swear and not have it count toward the swear jar). I LOVE baseball and my favorite team is the Cleveland Indians.
I love playing video games but I suck at the racing kind. I’m not sure why, but I have a hard time making it out of the start position and when I do make it out, I don’t usually make it out of the first lap before everyone else finishes. I really like first-person shooters, but only when the “cousin-stupid isn’t allowed to kill Salad” rule is in effect otherwise it’s no fun. We just got a Wii and the bowling for bunnies game is way fun too.
I’m 6^th generation LDS on both sides…I know, pretty boring. I have pioneer claims to fame, but I won’t bore you all with them because I’m kind of sick of telling the stories.
I’m not the super scary LDS scrapbooking Utah Mormon type but I do quite enjoy bookbinding. It’s really therapeutic and quite satisfying. The only sad part is I’m a terrible journal-keeper so I don’t keep the books I make. Although, I did make a book for Drex of all the letters that we wrote back and forth while he was on his mission. I was really proud of that book.
I LOVE learning. If I could get paid to be a student, I’d totally do it. I majored in history (obviously with no intention of having a lucrative career) and minored in English (again, no intention of being lucrative). Too bad we all have to grow up at some point and actually do something with ourselves. Both of my concentrations were complemented by education endorsements so I can at least do something with them…
I’m a total nerd
I love reading good books over and over and over again. Especially in the winter, curled up in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate.

the doctrine of letting go

2007-06-25T22:14:00.000-06:00

This is the slightly altered text of a talk I gave in church on Sunday. It's watered down from my original train of thought, as the original thrust of it would have been given from a predominantly moho perspective. What I said was intended to be a bit more general. As such, it's also what I consider an unfinished work - I intend to continue studying the subject until I have a firmer grasp on what I'm looking at. Also please keep in mind that I am neither scriptorian nor public speaker, and I much of what I say is based on opinions, though my opinions represent strong personal convictions. Also, sorry it's so long. If you are an impatient person, please ignore this post. (:

Something that I’ve been pondering a lot recently is what I refer to as the “doctrine of letting go.” It’s a subject inspired by an especially powerful fireside speaker a few months ago, and it’s been percolating in my mind since then. It’s a multi-faceted aspect of the gospel, covering many areas of belief and devotion.

The topic has been approached from many angles, with some widely covering it while others focus on individual aspects. It has been referenced as surrendering, submitting, or consecrating, in part. The idea is that there are things that we ought to be giving up into the care of the Lord that we instead hold on and cling to – and that according to the precepts of the gospel, we should be developing ways to let go of those things. Of course there are many things that we ought to surrender to the Lord. The aspects of the doctrine of letting go that I have been examining are in reference to sins, will, and trials.

Letting go of sin is probably the most widely approached aspect of this doctrine. It is arguably the most visible component of the atonement of Christ (second only, perhaps, to the victory over the grave). The well-known verse in Doctrine and Covenants 19:16 states that “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.” One of the direct benefits of letting go of one’s sins is the evasion of the suffering for them. It is generally considered that sin is one of the main topics of the similarly famous verse in Mosiah 3, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patent, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19). The relinquishing of sin and surrendering of will effects a “mighty change” in a person, producing a saint who exhibits Christlike attributes like love, patience, humility, and meekness. Neal A. Maxwell warns,

'Mighty' changing, however, is mighty hard work, a labor made more difficult by heeding the unflattering urges of the natural man. Too often our possibilities have been muted by the mundane....Of course we cannot fully comprehend all this right now! Of course we cannot know the meaning of all things right now. But we can know, right now, that God knows us and loves us individually!
But, brothers and sisters, what keeps us from knowing and loving Him more? Our reluctance to give away all our sins—thinking, instead, a down payment will do. Likewise, our reluctance to let our wills be swallowed up in His will—thinking, instead, that merely acknowledging His will is sufficient! (see Mosiah 15:7). (Neal A. Maxwell, “Encircled in the Arms of His Love,” Liahona, Nov 2002, 16–18.)

Thus we come upon some of the obstacles to letting go of our sins and our wills. One of the first is the natural inclination to withhold a part of one’s inner self. We make excuses, claiming that such things are what make us unique, or distinct. And yet our individuality actually remains intact as we become more like Jesus. Another stumbling block to letting go is an unwillingness to confront what we lack – an inability to admit fault. This barrier to letting go is founded in pride, and tangent to it is the tendency to deflect the importance of something in order to pass it off for work at a later time. Sometimes we are plagued by selfishness, a lack of proper perspective, or even a lack of faith which keeps us from letting go. It is difficult to let go of something when perspective does not grant that that thing is wrong. Likewise, there is no point in surrendering something to someone who is not powerful enough to help. Perspective and faith are vital to letting go.

Elder Maxwell states again:

In pondering and pursuing consecration [or, letting go], understandably we tremble inwardly at what may be required. Yet the Lord has said consolingly, ‘My grace is sufficient for you” (D&C 17:8). Do we really believe Him? He has also promised to make weak things strong (see Ether 12:27). Are we really willing to submit to that process? Yet if we desire fulness, we cannot hold back part!
“Having our wills increasingly swallowed up by the will of the Father actually means an enhanced individuality, stretched and more capable of receiving ‘all that [God] hath’ (D&C 84:38). Besides, how could we be entrusted with His ‘all’ until our wills are much more like His? Nor could His ‘all’ be fully appreciated by the partially committed. (Neal A. Maxwell, “Consecrate Thy Performance,” Liahona, Jul 2002, 39-42.)

The most overlooked aspect of the doctrine of letting go, in my opinion, is that of letting go of trials. Perhaps this is a more difficult aspect of doctrine to understand, or perhaps it is our independent natures that keep us from wanting to entrust our trials to something else. Often I think it is a warped understanding of the aim of the test of life. While we have been sent here to be tested, Heavenly Father by no means wants us to go through our tests alone. Even if all others seemingly abandon us, the Lord is always there to lean upon and to look towards. The trials that face us, while individually tailored, are not necessarily meant to be tackled alone. Did not the Lord say “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30)? Alma said that he “…desire[d] that ye shall plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith….And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye will” (Alma 33:23).

More from Elder Maxwell:

We tend to think of consecration [or letting go] only as yielding up, when divinely directed, our material possessions. But ultimate consecration is the yielding up of oneself to God. Heart, soul, and mind were the encompassing words of Christ in describing the first commandment, which is constantly, not periodically, operative (see Matt. 22:37). If kept, then our performances will, in turn, be fully consecrated for the lasting welfare of our souls (see 2 Ne. 32:9).
Such totality involves the submissive converging of feelings, thoughts, words, and deeds, the very opposite of estrangement. ("Consecrate Thy Performance")
Regarding trials, including of our faith and patience, there are no exemptions—only variations (see Mosiah 23:21). These calisthenics are designed to increase our capacity for happiness and service. Yet the faithful will not be totally immune from the events on this planet.
Therefore, we can be troubled on every side, but nothing can really separate us from the love of Christ (see 2 Cor. 4:8; Rom. 8:35–39); ... Even so, as Peter urged, we can and should cast our cares upon the Lord, because He surely cares for us! (see 1 Pet. 5:7). Oh, brothers and sisters, the awaiting emancipation of such trusting surrender! ("Encircled in the Arms of His Love")

The scripture that Elder Maxwell referenced was 1 Peter 5:6-7, which reads, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” Many interpret this verse as meaning that Christ cares about us and takes care of us. However, from the context and with a tip from the original Greek, the meaning is more along the lines of Christ already doing the caring for us. We can surrender our concerns to the Lord, because he does all of our concerning! Obviously this doesn’t meant that we don’t do anything about the trials that face us, but rather it means that if we are doing that which is in our power, and if we are keeping ourselves as aligned with the will of God as we can, that we needn’t worry ourselves over the trials we face, because God will take care of us.

I have many personal experiences with letting go of my trials, and I'd like to share one of them. Leading up to my mission, my entire life I'd been the shining example of gospel living. I was a 'spiritual giant,' well-versed in scripture and doctrine. I had a strong testimony of what I felt to be true. That testimony was earned, and I was forced to stand up for myself due to the area in which I lived and the circumstances in which I found myself. Knowing the gospel has never been a question for me. Other things have - the semester before my mission, I felt prompted to take Mandarin 101 at BYU. I thought, hey, this can't be so bad. My cousin learned Chinese, and I'm half Chinese, and even if my family doesn't speak the same dialect, it's sure to help, right?

I got a D that semester.

And so when the call invariably came to preach the gospel in Mandarin Chinese, I knew it wouldn't be me doing the learning in the MTC. Alone, I was powerless. With the Lord's help, I would be capable of great things. And so when I got to the MTC, it was a great surprise, a stunning miracle, and an obvious blessing that the language came easily to me. In fact, I picked it up faster than anyone else in my district. It was almost natural. My entrusting my trial to the Lord paid off.

That wasn't the extent of it, though, because I hadn't fully learned my lesson. One of the first teaching opportunities I had was teaching my afternoon teacher a discussion with my MTC companion. It was even in English. We prepared, and we tried to teach, but it was a fantastically horrible experience. The Spirit wasn't there, we couldn't figure out what to say, and my teacher was dozing off while we were teaching. It was horrendous, and we all knew it didn't go well. That night as I knelt to pray, I pleaded to know what went wrong, and what I should have done differently.

Now, when I learn scriptures, I remember them by their position on the page and by the markings I put on them. I have a hard time remembering references. And so when a scripture reference popped into my head, I knew it wasn't just my own recollecting. I felt urged to look up Proverbs 3:5-6, which reads, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” My confidence in my own knowledge of the gospel and what I figured was inherent ability to teach it was my downfall that day. I strived to change my ways, and while I will never claim that I was the most masterful missionary or teacher, I was successful, and I had the Spirit with me. Letting go of my trials and trusting the Lord with control made the difference for me.

As we face trials that are specifically tailored to our individual life experiences, we sometimes feel to play the martyr. We feel that the trials given to us are too hard to bear, an unfair lot, or somehow more than we deserve. As a loving Father in Heaven, we know that God will not tempt us above that we are able – this extends to trials, as well. We will not be tried beyond what we are capable of handling. Our trials are also there to help mold us into the children of God that we ought to be. Letting go of trials not only means trusting the Lord to help us through, but trusting that He knows best what we need, that He knows us better even than we know ourselves, and “that all these things shall give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good” (D&C 122:7). Our experiences shape who we are, and by letting go of our sins, our wills, and our trials, we allow ourselves to be shaped like the Savior. As we overcome the stumbling blocks and obstacles that stand in our way, and as we earnestly strive to consecrate ourselves to the Lord, “we shall see him as he is” and “we shall be like him” (1 John 3:2).

It is my testimony that “letting go” is of great importance to us in our endeavors to be like Christ and to progress in this life.

~drex

The Castle Says Hello!

2007-06-19T09:05:00.000-06:00

So I guess we’ve both kind of fallen off the face of the planet as far as blogging goes. It’s weird because there’s time to do it, but neither of us can seem to find the motivation to actually sit down and write something out. The biggest reason I’m doing it now is that I’m trying to look like I’m being busy at work. I’m far too efficient for my own good :P

Things in the world of Salad and Drex have been a bit crazy. With wedding plans in full swing, I’m trying my best to keep on top of everything and make sure that things are getting done. I have my dress, shoes, and slip (and even experienced a skanky moment when I bought a bra at Victoria’s Secret—I’d never done that before). We got my Temple clothes this weekend and my Temple dress is really pretty. We got all of our invitations addressed and mailed and now we just have to work on the e-invites in an effort to keep postage costs down. I’ve had one bridal shower (I love the awkwardness of combining my mom’s family with my dad’s family…good times had all around) and I have 2 more to go, one of which is the Moho shower which I’m uber excited for. We pretty much have everything under control, but I’m still kind of in panic mode. I feel like there’s something I’m forgetting to do and I’m going to be in big trouble if I don’t remember what it is. I think that’s just my OCD coming through because we really are on top of the game.

Drex has been out of town for 6 days. It’s been interesting without him here. I miss him like crazy and I can’t wait for him to come back (4 more days to go) but it’s not as bad as I was expecting it to be. We’ve been rather inseparable since we started dating and I was expecting to go through a bit more withdrawal. I am an independent person by nature: I like to do things for myself on my time frame and I hate having my plans messed up by other people. When I was single, I had no problem being alone and filling my time and getting things done. I’m still able to get everything done with Drex around and it’s really nice to have him there and to know that if I hit a rut or just need to be loved, I don’t have to go far. Since he’s been gone I’ve filled my time with other people and I’ve loved getting to spend that time with them. Gimple and I have hung out a lot, Hidden came over, Mulan and I spent some quality time together, and my family was in town all weekend so my sister and I had a 3 day sleepover at my grandma’s. I’m not ok being “alone” anymore. I crave the company of someone else and feel overcome with loneliness and feelings of inadequacy if I’m left to my own devices for too long. It’s interesting how relationships change the way we view the world around us. I have a final to work on today and tomorrow, but while I need to be “alone” to work on that, I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I can work on that and still manage to spend time with someone else so I’m not alone.

In an effort to milk even more of your sympathy ;) Drex and Bob have been texting me pictures of their vacation pretty regularly. They texted me a picture of the food from one of my favorite eateries that hasn’t made it to Utah; I was awakened yesterday with a picture of the Cinderella castle in the Magic Kingdom; Bob kept telling me how they saw Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent (from my favorite movie of all time) walking around the park etc etc. I lead a rough life, I know….

In our musings last night, Mulan and I were discussing the different positions of the Mohos when it comes to Mixed-Orientation relationships. She was asking me how everyone views the idea and I figure it depends on where everyone is, individually, in their struggle with SSA. Please correct me if I’m wrong. There are some people who are very supportive of the idea and others who don’t think the person struggling with SSA is being true to themselves. We would like to know how you really feel about it, so feel free to comment (I’ll try not to take anything personally ;) ).